In 2009 I went back to work after taking a year off work for maternity. It wasn’t the easiest decision giving the fact that I was still breastfeeding at the time and my son would refuse to drink the breast milk from a bottle (spoil, I tell ya!). Leaving him was tough at first but I was lucky enough to find someone sweet and caring to look after him while I went back to work. But this post is not about how I got over my attachment issues. It’s about the “Monster on the wall” something my good friend says will “free me”.
I met this friend while I was working as a customer representative for a cell phone company (joy). In 2011 the call center that I worked for was closed and we were all “let go”. A few of the people I worked with stayed in touch but most didn’t. Which I can understand. We all have lives outside of the workplace, and it’s not everyone that “stays in touch” after you clock out of work. But that friend did. Started out with texting, Facebooking, then reluctantly meeting for lunch dates. I say “reluctantly” because I can be such a hermit. I don’t really like going out for social reasons. But that friend is such a talker. You can’t be “shy” around him. You never run out of things to talk about. He can be a bit overwhelming at first, but if you stick around, you will appreciate his eccentric ways. He tells it to you like it is. He likes to “keep it real”. He’s also the one that told me about the “monster on the wall”.
One of the things he and I talk about is financial freedom. About 1 year ago we were talking about debts and money (our favorite subjects), and he asked me if I knew how much I owed. I tried to low ball it a bit but he said “NO, M! (He like to use my initial to “emphasize” his points). You have to KNOW your “monster” in order for you to be free from it. In this case, the “monster” is my debt.
Here’s a bit of history on how my monster came to be. In 2005 I was in the grocery store when I was “lured” by a free box of no-name chocolate chip cookies. All I had to do is sign my name in blood on the dotted line. OK not really. I was offered a free box of cookies and in exchanged all I had to do is fill out the credit card application. The truth is, in 2005 I was going to school and didn’t have a job nor did I have any kind credit to my name. So I figured, I would sign up for the card but wouldn’t be accepted BUT I would go home with a free box of cookies. But it didn’t quite work out that way. Next thing I knew I had a card under my name with over 5,000$ limit. To someone that never had a credit card before you can imagine how appealing it was to have so much MONEY! Which despite telling myself that it was, wasn’t free.
One credit card led to another, and then another, and before I knew it, I had created my own “monster.” It was scary and frustrating. Finally, I went to the bank and got a credit line and paid off all the credit cards. I felt free. I thought I was. Clearly, I was in denial!
Fast-forward to May 2013. I received a call from the bank wanting to talk about a few solutions for my current “monster” problem. I was pretty desperate at that point. I wanted a way out. I got a payment plan where I will be paying close to 328$ per month and in 5 years I will be done with paying off that loan.
About a week ago, my friend, had me join a site, where you can post your monster for other people to view. Sounds scary huh!? Well, it was. Yesterday he messaged me and “kindly” reminded me NOT to forget to post my “monster” up. So I did. And After looking at my “monster” right in the eye, I was…scared, then I was hopeful, and that hope turned into motivation to get rid of my monster once and for all. It won’t be easy, but I’m determined to come out of it all the winner.
So if you are like me, and you are not facing your monster, I invite you to put your monster on the wall. Take a pen and paper, calculate all the amount you owe and right it down so that you can know what your monster looks like. If you want, you can join the site and fill out an entry for this month, and in January when you update it again you can see if there’s been any changes. To those of you who doesn’t have any debts (I envy you), what are some tips you can share with us?
Here’s my monster! That’s a picture Tristan was kind enough to color for me.
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| The “Monster” on the wall (click on the link to view my entry for the month) |
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I know exactly how much my MONSTER is–I almost wish I didn’t–I am trying to pay down at least 2 of these cards right now–one I shut down and the other I do not use! Then when they are done I will start on the others—the things we do to ourselves!! I wish you all the luck in getting rid of your Monster-YOU CAN DO IT!!
I am thankful I don’t have a financial monster! But good for you for facing it head on!
Awesome post on the financial monster. The monster can appear if you’re not careful and most of the time it usually shows up when we least expect it and we find out ourselves struggling to get rid of this monster. Once we understand how the monster acts and thinks, then we will better know how to work around the monster. Thanks for sharing!
I let my Hubs take care of all our monsters. He protects me from them thank goodness. I don’t like to deal with stress so I am more than happy to let him deal with it.
We are also dealing with our monster on the wall. We are facing it in a slightly different way though and not as publicly.
I think that happens to a lot of us. Back when I was in college I had 3 credit cards. It was like the companies knew that I was easy prey and I was. It took me years to get out from under it all.
My hubby has his monsters that we are dealing with now. It happens to the best of us!
Well, I am happy to report we are pretty much monster free right now. We have no credit card debt and no car payments with a bit of savings to boot. We are pretty conservative and that means less stress…GOOD 4 YOU for confronting it head on!
I’ve experienced that monster before too. I’m happy to say that I’m moving into my 4th year of paying for everything with cash. I cut up all the cards, paid them off almost 4 years ago and made a commitment to myself that I would never accept another credit card and would only buy the things I want when I had the cash to pay for them. It’s worked great for me. So freeing. 🙂
You are very brave for doing that. Most people keep their hand in the sand until things get too out of control. Congratulations for taking control of your life.
I used to be afraid to face that monster, but now i hit it head on.. it will always be ugly, but when its gone its gone!
visualization techniques can be powerful and helpful when facing issues… so this monster is great for you. hopefully it helped
Oh gosh I have a huge monster in my life lol.. I am slowly chasing him away.. That was very cute introducing your monster lol..
I think we all deal with this monster at some point. I had over $30,000 in personal credit card debt that I accumulated when I started my business. I am down to $3,500 and do not use any credit cards now. It feels good to be just about debt free. And, I think before buying something.
Cute way to introduce the monster. While we don’t have any debt we are still paying for a medical issue. We’ve worked out a payment and it will slowly go down
My husband and I recently put our monster in one place and have no credit cards anymore.. Its a struggle, but we’ll be debt free in about 2 years! 🙂
‘Monster’ is such a good metaphor – and a great reminder of how destructive credit cards can be. I used to call mine ‘the evil one’! Fortunately I have very little on mine now after learning my lesson the hard way in my 20s.
This is good advice no matter what one’s monster is. Mine right now is my weight. In fact, I hid my scale in my closet so I wouldn’t be taunted by it. Perhaps if I could get one of my kids to draw a cute monster like yours, it wouldn’t be so scary! I definitely do need to stand up to it though, because pretending it isn’t there doesn’t seem to be working.
I do have past experience with that monster on the wall. It is so rewarding to acknowledge it and then deal with it and get it out of the way. Good for you!
I think we have all experienced the monster at some point. This would be an interesting way to deal with it – though most of us are not that open about our monsters.
What a great personal story. Thank you for sharing your monster with us.
We all have been through this and I appreciate your candid outlook and telling us about it!
I agree with all about our own monsters and love reading your story!
I’m currently facing a very BIG monster and I love the idea of drawing it out and placing it on my office wall! I’m doing this tonight!
I found those monsters everywhere, they are ready to eat us and we have to fight against them. I try to do my best in fighting them.
Fan R @TeddyOutReady
That is great you are facing your monster head on. I look forward to following along on your journey.
Thanks for sharing your story and I am glad you had the courage to recognize your Monster. My biggest monster is my weight and I don’t know when I will be able to put it up the wall.
Wonderful… facing this or any other fear will set you free! You’re inspiring many, including me to face “monsters” in our lives.
Thank goodness I have no monsters on my wall or in my closet!
It certainly is a good idea to face the monster and then you can start to get rid of him.
What a great idea and I am glad you were able to tackle your monster!
I have that monster as well. I have a few credit cards that I need to pay off but my biggest is for my new van that I bought last year. Hopefully I’ll have them all paid off in the next 2 years. i would so love to be debt free!
I’m fully aware of how much my monster is worth and what it will take to pay him off and get rid of him for good. I can’t wait to be rid of him forever.
Good for you! So many people go through what you are going through and it is a hard lesson to learn. Some of it just has to do with age and where you are with jobs, children and so forth. So happy that I can say I am debt free other than my home.
I love the analogy of the monster! SUch a cute story! I am happy to hear you found a solution for your credit situation! It sounds like it would be a scary place to be. I always only buy what I can pay for each credit statement, so while I cannot relate, I still have known alot of people in the same situation. Cute monster pic your son made:)
It took me a while to get rid of the monster but I did!
Great post. Thanks for being open about your “monster”. Maybe it will help out people to get rid of theirs. We do not do credit cards in my house and we are trying to teach our kids to stay away from them. We are in our 40s and hope to be completely debt free(no house payment) with in 5 years. Good for you for taking charge of your finances.
Monster is a perfect way to describe it. It turns into a nightmare of a situation if you let it and beastly can it be! We’ve faced our monsters and have come out on top, but we’re starting over again Jan 1st because just facing your monsters isn’t enough, you’ve got to save up so that monster never returns! Thank you so much for being real on your post and I look forward to following your journey!
Your monster looks managable. I wish you lots of luck! I am doing the same thing this year. But, I am going to use the snowball method to pay off my bills. When I was paying off the largest interest first… I still had all of my bills every month. Paying off the smallest one first is making it easier to get rid of all my bills.
It took me four years to beat up the monster on my wall, but I’ve never felt more in control of my life!
My wife and I have gotten rid of almost all of our monsters. We are tired of paying out almost all that we make. This is great information for those who are thinking about it.
It’s definitely hard for most people to face their “monster.” It’s scary to think about all the debt we rack up.
I have a monster and it came to reality last night. I am in debt too 🙁